Surfers Chastise Non-Local Shark Out Of Line Up

MALIBU, CA - Sunday morning surfers threaten non-native juvenile white shark from line up. “Look, I hate to get all agro out there, but there’s only so many two footers to go around, and this fucking grom rolls in like he owns the place.” Self described soul surfer Rick Greeney tells reporters. “He tried to smooth things over, but the middle of a set is no time to figure things out peacefully. I got a couple blows to the gills, he won’t be back anytime soon.”

A latter interview with the juvenile white shark revealed he hadn’t seen his Mother in about two thousand leagues of swimming, “I’m not looking for her anymore, but I was hoping to at least find a few friends to chill with. It’s a pretty lonely ocean and I just haven’t been feeling too great lately.”