Top Doctors Reveal 5 Health Benefits Of Mercury

Mercury consumption comes in a variety of meals and they all share powerful health benefits.

For people who own Fitbits,

mercury consumption can lead to a loss in motor skills, which means you’ll certainly be getting your steps in. Even better, poor coordination and difficulty standing will help strengthen those leg muscles you wouldn’t normally use for walking.

For the introvert,

mercury consumption affects your ability to hear, speak, and see- which means no more awkward eye contact on the subway or annoying small talk with the market clerk, or with any loved ones at home.

For the bare-knuckle boxer,

mercury consumption can leave you hands and face completely numb, which means you can jump in the ring and last a full twelve rounds without feeling a damn thing. You won’t be throwing any KOs from your overall muscle deterioration, but your face will be just fine.

For the bulimic blogger,

mercury consumption can lead to naturally persistent vomiting, a healthier way to cut down on digesting carbs and freeing you from the need to bring up eating disorders at every meal. It’s not about the eating anymore, unless of course its mercury, then it still is.

For the modern ADHD diagnosee,

mercury consumption helps lower your peripheral vision, leaving the perfect tunnel of sight to drown out all those silly distractions while you’re trying to focus. You’ll find yourself even more productive thanks to mercury’s naturally induced insomnia.