Restorative Coral Farmers Play Marvin Gaye Underwater, Help Reefs ‘Get It On'

HONOLULU, HI- Restorative coral farmers and researchers aiming to lessen the effects of post traumatic stress symptoms in bleached coral, primarily a lessened libido and insecurities that accompany a struggling sex life, have made the groundbreaking discovery from their recent test - Operation Sexual Healing.

By placing underwater speakers throughout the reefs and playing a continuous stream of Marvin Gaye, the zooxanthellae-less (algae) invertebrates increased their traditional once-a-year, full moon orgy to a monthly occurrence.

“Spawning at this level will really help rebuild colonies all across the island,” reported Seu, the surfer turned marine scientist who conceived the idea. “What’s really shocking,” he continued, “It’s not just about Marvin’s greatest hits. They really seem to get going with the b-sides and some lost treasures.”